TOP TEN BADASS BOTS
Call them what you will. Robots, androids, cyborgs, cylons. Technically, this list should be called Top Ten Sentient Man-Made Beings, but that doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Whatever you call them (nerds, debate), you can't argue with the simple fact that they're badass. They can be lean, mean machines of destruction, or as friendly as your childhood teddy bear. Personally, I don't trust the fuckers. While we hang tight and twiddle our thumbs until the robot apocalypse crushes the human race with fists of steel (and it will happen), here are a couple cinematic robots to pass the time:
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (2005).
So I'm really talking about the suicidal, sarcastic little bastard from Douglas Adam's books here. But the Alan Rickman voice is a little too perfect to pass up.
9. Number Six.
Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009).
Hottest. Robots. Ever.
8. Agent Smith.
The Matrix Trilogy (1999-2003)
So technically he's not a robot. Technically he's a "computer program". But shit, he's Hugo Weaving and he's badass.
Blade Runner (1962).
I know I'm being a dick for putting two robot characters from the same movie in here, but c'mon. I needed some more Daryl Hannah in my life.
The 14-year old boy in me is having a fangasm right now. But it's a really fucking good movie!
The Star Wars Trilogy (1977-1983)*.
The world's greatest bot-mance.
4. Maria The Robot.
She's a classic. Literally. Like my dinosaur PC. But who doesn't love, as my girlfriend so eloquently puts it, her "sexy dance"?
3. HAL 9000.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968).
Because everyone knows the line "What do you think you're doing, Dave?"
2. The Terminator.
The Terminator Franchise (1984-2009).
The Governator is a metal-boned BAMF who will take down anything in his way. End of story.
1. Roy Batty.
Blade Runner (1982).
What is it about Roy Batty? Probably the fact that he's not, in fact, much of a robot at all. He's depressingly human, and it's his soul that sells the movie, not his machinery.
And that's your nerdiness for the day. Since really excellent robot movies seem far and few between, any recommendations are more than welcome. Except Transformers. I'm sorry, that is one acid trip the 14-year old boy in me refuses to take.
*The prequels don't exist. Don't even try to convince me otherwise.