Fight Club Rule #14:

14. How to name an action hero:

Snake Plissken: A badass among badasses.
John McClane: A badass among average Joes.
Aaron Cross: We didn't try, but we hope you enjoy it anyway.
Jack Reacher: Action hero or gay porn star? You decide.

Fight Club Rule #13:

13. Always bring rope.

Fight Club Rule #12:

12. FUCK YEAH ROBOTS.

Chance of me seeing a sci-fi: 50%
Chance of me seeing a sci-fi mind-fuck: 75%
Chance of me seeing a sci-fi with robots: SKYROCKETED.

Fight Club Rule #11:

(Though I will admit this is kind of the shit).

Anyone actually see Luck (2011) and care to change my mind about it?

Fight Club Rule #10:

10. Fuck that horse/furby/bird thing, someone give Quentin Tarantino a motherfucking time-turner. Brad Pitt, Daryl Hannah, and Michael Madsen are waiting.

Fight Club Rule #9:

9. If Cameron Diaz has to wake up and realize she's too old for the roles she takes, Tom Cruise has to play someone's grandfather.

"Come sit on grandpa's lap, kiddo..."

"......."

Fight Club Rule #8:

8. I have a Real Doll that looks just like you.

If you have to walk around reminding everyone you're the sexiest woman in the room, chances are...you aren't. As soon as women adopt the role of "sex pot", they lose what actually made them a sex pot in the first place. Pork chops taste good, but personality goes a long way, if you know what I mean. Scar Jo, you had me at hello with your peanut butter smeared fingers. Angelina Jolie, I liked you better when you had a crack pipe in one hand and a woman in your other. Megan Fox...what am I saying? You were never more than a pair of...er. Legs. Personalities, we miss you. Come back.

Fight Club Rule #7:

7. If you're going to advertise for a reboot of Charlie's Angels, are you going to...

Charlie's Angels (2000).

a) Make it appealing to men, women, and lesbians by showcasing kickass women saving the world in skimpy outfits?

Or...

Charlie's Angels (2011).

b) Make it look like a Maxi-Pad commercial?

You decide.

(...how'd that get in there?)

Fight Club Rule #6:

6. Brits always do it better, so do even try. AKA: Unless you're the first insane enough to drive a car through the North Pole, unless you try (and fail in style) to make a boat that floats, and unless you have The Stig, frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. 

THIS

Explosions, near-death experiences, British hilarity.

NOT THIS

Two and a half bros.

Fight Club Rule #5:

5. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me seven times, shame on me.

Fight Club Rule #4:

4. Your 3-D special effects will not save your lazy ass crap script. That's a trick you can only pull out of the hat once, and Avatar (2009) ate that rabbit.

Fight Club Rule #3:

Prom Night, Prom, Glee.

3. Prom. Is not. That fucking serious.

Unless you're this chick...

Fight Club Rule #2:

2. Don't let a dyke with penis envy watch Boogie Nights (1997). She will want to be Dirk Diggler for the rest of her natural life.

Fight Club Rule #1:

1. You do not talk about Fight Club.