Fight Club Rule #9:

9. If Cameron Diaz has to wake up and realize she's too old for the roles she takes, Tom Cruise has to play someone's grandfather.

"Come sit on grandpa's lap, kiddo..."



  1. Hell to the yeah!! Age-ism sucks out loud and it's not like these guys are getting any prettier. And Kate Winslet is NOT fat. Sorry, a different rant.

  2. Who the hell said Kate Winslet's fat? The woman's skin and bones. Give her another hamburger. Anyway, nothing wrong with a couple womanly curves. We could use some men with breasts larger than their male counterparts. Er...I can't tell if I'm a feminist or a horny 12 year old boy. Crap. My split personalities need to duke it out at sunrise on a beach with Hattori Hanzo swords.

    But really. Death to ageism.

  3. That's what I say, too, but the mags are always ragging on her about being a plus-sized actress and how in the Reader she looked "rather hefty." I wanted to punch someone.

  4. Haha, LMAO. Cameron Diaz irks me more than she excites me. It's comforting to know I'm not the only cinephile who feels this way. And I loved Collateral. Tom Cruise was brilliant. Michael Mann is a genius, who unfortunately, never receives the undying adoration he so deserves. Cool little post. Terse is a virtue!

    P.S. Even with my continuing aging, Home Alone still rocks.

  5. Nice one! Yes, the age issue is pretty interesting. Catherine Zeta-Jones was telling everyone she was exactly 25 years younger than her new hubbie, Michael Douglas. After they went to a White House party, the background search revealed she was only 15 years younger.

    And how many movies and TV shows give us people that are clearly in their 20s playing people who are 14-17? It's even more freaking insane than scenes where everyone in a high school has a perfectly-choreographed dance sequence.

    Woman do get the short end of the stick (take that phrase however you like) when it comes to age. Guys keep getting work as they get older, but their female counterparts are just replaced with some other "sweet young thang." Older men with younger women surely isn't a new thing, but in movies, it's in full-on hyperdrive.

    Then again, if Diaz were a better actress, the problem would seem a little worse, right?

    As a nice little aside, Cary Grant was a classy guy. He did this neat little movie called Charade with Audrey Hepburn. When he complained that the script called for 59 y/o him to have a romance with a 34 y/o woman, the producers responded by giving him lines where he points out the absurdity of their age gap. I also think that Grant played his role with a minimum of romance - it's downplayed quite a lot. I'm sure it's because Cary wasn't like Jack Nicholson and it genuinely creeped him out a bit.

  6. @ Melissa--That's cracktastic. All I can say is, clearly, magazine writers don't eat at McDonalds.

    @ Matthew--I'm not a big Cameron Diaz fan either, she was just the first actress that came to mind that gets slack for her age. I'm all for substituting her with another actress. And Collateral was the best. I should really watch that one again. Damn good movie!

    PS: Home Alone is always badass!

    @ Thaddeus--Catherine Zeta-Jones, that's a good one. Where has she been these passed ten years? And more importantly, why is the White House doing background checks on her? Eh, I can't blame them, I'd do a background check on Catherine Zeta-Jones as well. And probably a strip search.

    The old-young people thing always amuses me. I'm actually a perfect target for those kinds of movies because I can't guess people's ages for the life of me, but it's always awkward when you find out someone you thought was a teenager is actually a thirty year old man rolling around with girls half his age. Or something like that.

    But women certainly do seem to age a hell of a lot faster in Hollywood than men do. I am hoping that certain women that are just damn great actresses (Cate Blanchett, Kate Winslet, etc) break the cycle and stay young and lovely in Hollywood.

    And I will have to agree with you. I've got zero opinion about Cameron Diaz, I think the last time I liked her in a movie was sometime in the 90s around The Mask. Still, that's an excellent little Cary Grant aside! Cary Grant is the man. End of story. Everyone still wants to be Cary Grant.


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