Fight Club Rule #11:

(Though I will admit this is kind of the shit).

Anyone actually see Luck (2011) and care to change my mind about it?

Fight Club Rule #6:

6. Brits always do it better, so do even try. AKA: Unless you're the first insane enough to drive a car through the North Pole, unless you try (and fail in style) to make a boat that floats, and unless you have The Stig, frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. 

THIS

Explosions, near-death experiences, British hilarity.

NOT THIS

Two and a half bros.

Reason #245 Why The Brits Do It Better.

THE TAKE (2009)

Image from guardian.co.uk

So I'm cheating a little here. The Take (2009) isn't so much a movie as it is a four part miniseries which featured on the UK's Sky1. It's got the gangster intricacies of The Godfather (1972), but with a bonus of intense family sexual drama and Tom Hardy from Inception (2010). It runs a little something like this: Freddie (Tom Hardy) has just gotten out of prison and he's ready to get back into illegal action. Except this time, he's taking his unwitting cousin, the smart but too-loyal-for-his-own-good Jimmy (Shaun Evans), down with him.

Freddie is one hell of a character. He really is. First of all, he enters back into the real world after spending four years behind bars, and he doesn't play it safe. He doesn't settle in the bushes to take scope of how things have changed. Instead, he rips a hole into the neat, organized life of crime. Settling old vendettas, clashing against opposing mob factions, and killing his way to the top. And leaving Jimmy to sweep up the pieces. Where Freddie is the impulsive shoot-first-ask-question-never type, Jimmy is the brains of the business. He slowly moves up in rank and often works as a buffer between Freddie and their locked up boss, Ozzy (played by the ever talented Brian Cox). Which comes in handy when Freddie, you know. Kills a handful of "protected" people without a blink of his eyes.

Yes, it's all guns, drugs, and unfortunately sex for Freddie, which puts his wife, Jackie (Kierston Wareing from Fish Tank) through multiple jealous and paranoid fits of rage, cooled only by the liquid touch of the bottle to her lips. Jackie, who is just as volatile as her husband, somehow pulls herself together enough to take care of the four children Freddie barely brings himself to see (which gives their youngest son daddy issues with dire consequences). Lucky for Jackie, she has Maggie (Charlotte Riley), to look after her. Maggie, Jackie's little sister, Jimmy's fiancee, and the victim of Freddie's unwanted aggressive advances. It's an incestuous little circle they have, to say the least. Maggie proves to be the unspoken anchor of the family, taking care of her sister and giving Jimmy the confidence to pursue his own "career choices" (even if she doesn't quite agree with them...namely, the whole Freddie bit.)

Threatening promotional poster of awesome.

The performances are phenomenal. Tom Hardy, in short, is off the hook. You thought he was good in Inception (2010)? Oh no. Oho no. He's fantastic in this role. Playful enough that we want to like him, but with an uncontrolled psychopathic edge that leaves us wanting to run very quickly in the opposite direction. He reflects every one of this man's thousand different sides--sadistic, vulnerable, lonely, rebellious, humorous, protective, psycho-crazy. You name it, he's got it. Shaun Evans also pulls of an amazing performance, but can't help but be constantly muted in Tom Hardy's shadow. Which is the point of his character, so he pulls it off well. When Hardy is not on the screen, however, the girls steal the show. Charlotte Riley (who, funny enough, is currently engaged to Tom Hardy) is absolutely fantastic. I'm not sure where she's been all my life. But she nails some of the most utterly painful scenes in the movie and sinks them in to the hilt. Lastly, a mention to Brian Cox, who does the cold and calculated thing like a boss, and Kierston Wareing, who is still doing a good job convincing me she'd be a shit mother, yet somehow comes across as a very strong and sympathetic character by the end.

The reason I claim the Brits do it better is this: it has all the makings of something we've seen before. Gangsters. Estranged loyalties. Twisted "family" dynamics. The old killers slowly dying while the new ones crawl in with the taste of blood. However, this one story is simply crafted so bloody well (as they say). The story is intricate and rich with strain. We feel for every single one of these characters; no one is a saint, and no one is a sinner. Where at one point we'll love a certain character, in the next ten minutes we might find a reason to hate that character. They all do a complete 360, which is what I find most compelling about the story. But don't for a second mistake this for a slow-paced family drama. This is the brilliant part of it. The miniseries moves so damn fast, keeping the viewer on the edge, that once you're hooked in it's really hard to stop. It is, in the most basic sense, a gangster movie, and never forgets that. Yet the guns and drugs are somehow interwoven seamlessly with the character drama, which is what makes this show absolutely brilliant.

If you love gangsters, violence, and Tom Hardy, this is one you'll enjoy. However, if you love gangsters, violence, Tom Hardy, and extraordinarily complex characters, this is a must see. I will give one warning though, and that is that this series is not for the squeamish. The violence is both physical and sexual, and some of the deaths are...well. Just plain twisted. But they carry so much emotional weight, I promise it's worth it. Plus, this series pulls of an ending I've never seen any other gangster film even try to attempt. I'm just saying. Do we have any feminists in the house?

Don't Throw Away Your Television.

Image from http://moviecarpet.com

Angry at the the Skins child porno debate? Wounded by Ricky Gervais (you humorless bastards)? Heartbroken because The Walking Dead hasn't come up with a precise return date? Never fear, I come bringing tidings of hope, also known as: three reasons not to throw away your television.

Image from http://images.buddytv.com/

1. Lie To Me is awesome. Yeah. I know. About %1 of the human population watches this show. But really, it's a good one to get on. Sure, it's methodic, but no one complained when every episode of House M.D. had the same ending. It has an interesting premise--human lie detectors. Plus, it has the quirky and ever lovely Tim Roth and the beautiful Brendan Hines. What more do you need? Okay. So the show doesn't sell itself well. So it had a bit of a sloppy first season. But I think it's really started to kick itself into gear--especially with one of the latest episodes, Funhouse (3x09), in which Lightman gets himself admitted to a mental hospital and spends some time going absolutely crazy. I know what you're thinking--another House M.D. ripoff, Lie To Me? Really? But no, really, they actually pull it off well, and it's a great bit of character development. One of the best episodes of the season, if not their best. I recommend checking it out on hulu.

2. Archer is coming up. YES. I've been waiting for this for way too long. If you're wondering what Archer is, it's another hulu venture for you. It's more or less an animated spoof of secret agent movies, focusing primarily on the 007 franchise, and basically rips it to pieces. From the sick geniuses that brought us Frisky Dingo, Archer is not for the faint hearted, often laced with twisted sexual humor, butler abuse, and mommy issues. But if you're a James Bond fanatic*, you'll no doubt find this amusing to no end. It's coming back January 27th, and I'm psyched.

Image from http://blog.oregonlive.com/

3. Battlestar Gallatica is on netflix. Okay. So this has nothing to do with TV, actually. Well, a little bit to do with TV, I mean, it is...you know. A TV show. Just happens to be a TV show that I watch on the computer! Alright, so it's old news for everyone else, but I just started getting into it, and let me tell you. It's fucking awesome. Amazing, well written script? Check. Exciting plot with robots? Check. Great action scenes? Check. Complex characters? Check. Badass chicks? Motherfucking check. There is really nothing that makes me happier at the moment.

*NOTE: Speaking of TV. Yeah. I'm not going to be talking about Human Target. I know, I'm talking about badass shows, how can I not watch Human Target, right? Well. Human Target makes me angry. It's a wannabe James Bond show. And it's one thing to spoof James Bond, another thing to try to be as cool as 007 himself. Don't try. You will fail. Miserably. Am I not giving this show enough credit? Probably. But this is my irrational rage showing.

5 Reasons Why The Walking Dead Dead Is Better Than You.

THE WALKING DEAD (2010)

Braaaaains!

Alright. I tried to avoid talking about TV shows, I did. But this one really does deserve a mention. If you like guns, gore, and zombies, this really is one you shouldn't miss. I've been religiously addicted ever since I saw the most badass trailer in trailer history. In my opinion, it's hands down the best TV show of the season, and possibly one of my all time favorites. And so, in no particular order, here's my top five reasons why The Walking Dead is better than you: